Not long ago, Topher and I had a talk about how we are both feeling burnt-out, and since we hadn’t been on a real vacation in several years … it was time.
Our favorite vacation format is a cruise. All these thoughts were going through our heads though: Should we be saving for a car for our daughter; the house needs repainted; we have new vet bills every other day, the cars are starting to show their age, etc.
Then we thought: well, if the kid just walked everywhere she would really be getting good exercise, or she could just date an older boy who could tote her around (then Topher shot that down). The house could wait one more year before repainting, and the dogs could just stop getting sick for a while (it could happen).
Before we could talk ourselves out of it, we booked ourselves 3 plane tickets to Puerto Rico (which is where our cruise will leave from).
So what would be the next thought that would enter all of your ladies’ minds? You guessed it: Oh Crap! I’m going to have to be seen in a swimsuit!
I then tried to think of a ways to motivate myself and methods of keeping myself accountable.
I thought about Weight Watchers, but I checked into it, and it’s a bit pricey — and since we already spent all of our daughter’s car money on the cruise. I needed something cheaper if not free.
So then I remembered seeing some other bloggers take their readers along on their weight loss journey. They show their before picture (usually in a bikini), and then each week they show you their progress.
Now that I had a plan, I locked myself in the bathroom and pulled on that skimpy little thing (now mind you, when I was 20 I would have thought this was a very granny looking bikini, but now it looks a little different). I set the timer on my camera and TA DA!
Then I looked at the picture and….. it ain’t happening folks.
No way, no how am I posting that sucker for all of you to see.
I know, I know. You are saying But we are all friends here, and you won’t judge. But trust me … you would. You probably wouldn’t even want to be friends anymore if you saw the combination of the scary-as-heck whiteness, mixed with the lumps and bumps poking out in every different direction.
How did this happen?
Okay, I’m going to tell you something that will make you not like me … but then something to make you like me again.
My whole life, I have pretty much been able to eat whatever the heck I wanted: frozen pizzas, pastas in cream sauce, cookie dough, ice cream, and as long I have put in the most minimal effort to work out, I never gained weight.
Now when I turned 37, that all came to a screeching halt. My metabolism didn’t just slow down this year, I think it might have started flowing backward.
So now I have less than 5 weeks to get myself into “bikini ready” mode, so lets just pretend that today I posted that scary picture of me in that swimsuit, and you pretend you are not appalled, and that we are going to meet back here next week, and I will look a whole lot better.
And by week five I will will look like a Victoria’s Secret model posed seductively on some rocks in Puerto Rico.
or I could be wearing one of these.
Let’s see what happens.