One More Reason I Hate the Gym (and an Antique Yellow Table)

Remember when I said I was going to start going back to the gym again? Well … I have been, which is a start — but just not as often as I should.  With summer right around the corner, I have got to kick it into gear, people!

Yesterday, I had to drive one of my unnamed child’s friends home from school, and we had to go down a very bumpy dirt road. I glanced down at my legs, and the amount of jiggling that was resonating from them was mortifying — like two jello-filled water balloons sloshing around in my driver’s seat.  In fact, I was so distracted, I did a terrible job avoiding all the ruts — which, of course, only compounded the problem…

That ride disturbed me enough that I drove my car straight to the gym.

I’ve written, on more than one occasion, about how I am a complete germ-o-phobe, so the gym is kind of my worst nightmare as far as that goes. I can not stand touching the same weight machine handles that 147 other people have already touched already.

Today kind of pushed me over the edge though.

I work out on the weight circuit. The one upstairs is usually where all of the women work out. Today, this great big, extremely sweaty guy decided to work out in Ladyland.

I was halfway through my circuit when he waddled in. He plopped down at the machine next to mine, and he did his reps. When it was time to switch machines, I moved over to his. I looked down at it … and it was dripping in his sweat.

I was repulsed.

Now I get that people go to the gym to work up a sweat, I just don’t want to sit my body down in someone else’s — especially when the gym is so liberal with hand towels.

I didn’t know what to do.  If I went and got a towel to wipe it off, he would see and think I was rude. If I didn’t, I would be burning my shirt (once it dried from someone else’s sweaty disgustingness).

In the end, I went with rude because I couldn’t bear to watch his germs crawl all over the equipment (and subsequently onto my hands) anymore, and I figured after all, he was the rude one since he had to know he was leaving a wake of sweat droplets; plus, he shouldn’t be working out in Ladyland — especially when there was a huge Dudeland area downstairs, filled with manly weights where he should be working out anyway. I think sweating, grunting, and panting is encouraged there…

Even wiping off the machines with a towel grossed me out, but I figured I would douse myself with the antibacterial gel they have as you walk out of the gym … but when I got to it, you guessed it, it was empty.

I pretty much drove home using only my wrists, so I wouldn’t contaminate my car.

I know people … I have issues.

Speaking of issues, this table I found had plenty of them. It was filthy, wobbly, and was pretty beaten up.

I painted it with yellow chalkpaint, distressed it, and waxed it. The top of it was painted, and I wanted to leave that original.

I love all of the great carving on it and how the paint sort of brings that out a little more.

 Before:

Antique Yellow Table before

After:

Antique Yellow Table After

Antique Yellow Table

Antique Yellow Table close up

Antique Yellow Table After right side

Antique Yellow Table close up top

Comments

    • Shanna says

      Dear Bob- If the unnamed child will not even allow me to use her name can you imagine how she would react if I were to do that? I should tell her I’m going to do that, make up a fake flyer and everything and then tell her I won’t as long as her room stays spotless all summer. Maybe that would work?

  1. Angela says

    I’ve been reading for a while, but I had to comment for the first time! This post is hilarious, but I am IN LOVE with this table! It is so beautiful, great work!

  2. says

    Beautiful job on the table! And I 100% agree with you on the gym! I only take the classes cause I can’t stand the thought of other people’s sweat!

  3. Sharleen says

    I am loving the yellow. I have been trying to do something yellow for a while. So it’s great to see an inspiration , to help me get cracking. I find I am needing some inspiration. To get back into painting furniture after a tone of painting overload. Thanks , it looks lovely and bright.

  4. says

    Your posts have gotten me back to the gym even if my parking sticker was ten months out-of-date! I am lucky – no one gets offended at the constant cleaning of the machines. I am fanatic about the gel and the cleaning since I have come home with pink eye a couple of times! Love that cheerful yellow you chose for the table.

    • Shanna says

      Oh Lord Donna! If I came home with pink eye I don’t think I would ever go again! I’m always looking for an excuse though lol!

  5. says

    adorbs! i love the character it brings. i don’t like the gym either…but running with the jogging stroller gives me all the workout i need!

    • Shanna says

      Thanks Carissa! Sadly my stroller days are gone. I suppose I could throw the pups in one and try that but the neighbors might give me some looks!

  6. says

    I adore what you did with this table!! Adore it. I’ve been contemplating a yellow paint job on a banged up hutch that belonged to my husband’s grandmother, and your piece has convinced me!

  7. says

    What you described is the main reason I do the gym any more. Well that and pure-t laziness. However, I got some kind of skin infection more than once, and I decided enough was enough. I can get plenty of exercise in other ways — like all the jumping around I do on blogs! LOL

  8. says

    This post is so funny, Shanna. Thanks for making me smile this morning! Don’t you love it when you push yourself to exercise and then wish you hadn’t even bothered? Love your table too ~ very pretty color!

    • says

      Oh yes JoAnne! I will be posting all about the pilates class I took on Friday this week. Trust me, on Saturday I was wishing I hadn’t of gone. Breathing hurt.

  9. says

    This is so fun! I love restoration projects and the color you picked is great!! Found you through fluster buster! :) Have a wonderful day.

  10. says

    LOOOOOOOOVE this yellow table! What is the shade and brand of paint you used? I have some cheap tables around the house that could use some new life. Been planning on painting them but I couldn’t see the colors I wanted to use. UNTIL NOW!!!

  11. says

    You are hilarious! I was cracking up at your gym story and then all of the sudden, “Oh yeah, I made this amazingly gorgeous table too.” Funny and talented…you’ve got it all! :) I popped over from Domestic Superhero–thanks for sharing!

    ~Abby =)

  12. says

    Great color choice for that little table. And nice that you left the table top uncovered! I have a little icebox on my front porch I’m thinking of painting yellow too. I’ve never done a yellow piece so I’m SCARED!

    You’re story had me holding my ribs, it was so funny. I am one of three ladies that work out together ~ downstairs in the men’s domain! Of course we sweat but we do wipe the machines down when we are done. I just laughed so hard because we can see on the men’s faces that they are wondering why we don’t head upstairs to the treadmills or circuit machines! Lol. Every once in awhile you will hear one of the men mutter to the others “getting kinda crowded in here, isn’t it?” :)

    • says

      I think a yellow ice box sounds darling! So you are one of those real workout people Sherry! You stand your ground down in manland girl!

  13. says

    Shanna, I really really really enjoyed your story. You are hilarious, and I agree that you need to do stand-up comedy! You did a great job on the table, too. What brand of paint did you use? I just bought my first little pot of Annie Sloan Chalk Paint – yep, bit the bullet, so to speak. I’m a little nervous about my first chair redo coming up tomorrow. Your table is beautiful, just like I want my piece to be when I’m done. :-) Any advice?
    Blessings!
    Kim

  14. says

    That gym story reminds me of one of my own. Back when I went to the gym, there was this guy who would get so sweaty he’d have to change shirts mid workout. And trust me, his workouts weren’t that rigorous. I have never seen someone that wet who didn’t just walk out of the shower.

    I share your revulsion.

    But that table is another story. Not revolting at all. I love the daisy yellow color. Such a fun pop of color.

    Thanks for linking it up to Home{work} Wednesday

  15. says

    you make me laugh! I don’t use a gym, but I think I wouldn’t really like all the sweat :o) Thanks for linking up to Tasteful Tuesdays and would love for you to add my party to your list! :o) Can’t wait to see what you bring next week. Emily @ Nap-Time Creations
    oh, and I just posted an amazing round-up from last weeks party… stop on over and check it out!

    • says

      Thanks Emily! I am definitely add you to my party list! Sorry, I added a bunch of new blogs to my list last week and I thought I got yours on there. I will fix that right away! Thanks for hosting!

  16. says

    The table looks fabulous!! I love the color picking up the florals on top. And I agree about the gym. My son goes to one now, I did pre-spine arthritis, it’s a hard and fast rule you wipe down equipment when you’re done. I had a disinfectant bottle at each machine when I went. I think they have disinfectant wipes now where my son goes. Someone else’s sweat–EEWWWWW.
    Janet

    • says

      Hi Kayla! The brand of paint is Sherwin Williams and the color is Afternoon. I used their paint and I made my own chalk paint by using the plaster of paris recipe. Works everytime!

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